Don’t let bitching at the workplace get to you; strike at its root. Vinodini Rao tells you how.

Tyrannical bosses. Incompetent colleagues. Pushy clients. The objects of our disaffection may vary, but bitching about work is always in season — even though it’s usually a futile exercise. It may seem petty and downright childish, but a reality that many have to deal with everyday at the workplace.

“People spend such vast amounts of their time bitching, moaning, whining and gossiping at the workplace,” says vocational psychologist Shruti Anaokar, “that little do they realise that they are directly responsible not only for their individual productivity but also for the overall morale and functioning of an organisation.”

But unfortunately, for many people, bitching is an unavoidable and quite natural part of office life. The most typical ones, however, are those who spend hours of office time on the phone or the computer chatting with their friends and relatives, groaning about every bit of discomfort they seem to be facing at the workplace. Then, there are those who are constantly bickering among themselves about the hassles they have with their boss/ management. All of which, in all probability, could also lead to office gossip and rumours. And there are also those who engage in bitching sessions with their colleagues but on the sly go and complain to the boss about how X is forever seen at the water cooler badmouthing the whole world. The list is endless...

 
But the bottomline is that people will always have prejudices, both big and small. And these days, with mounting job insecurity and stiff competition office politics is much more on the rise. Arguing, verbal abuses and work sabotage are more serious issues. But small grievances, if left unchecked, can lead to more serious problems down the road. So how does one deal with frustrated, grumpy and resentful co-workers?

“It has been observed that managers often make matters worse by preferring to ignore the matter. Their concern is delivery of work and as long as that is getting done, petty things like gossiping and bitching at the workplace don’t really matter,” feels Anaokar. But she adds that confront the problem, they must, if they want to maintain a healthy and socially sound work environment.

BOSS SPEAK
The gossip-monger is rarely taken to task by colleagues and is protected by the silent shield of everyone’s penchant to gossip. The result: ineffectiveness at work and nuisance to those who like to mind their own business. Managers must realise that the problem has to be dealt with. A few pointers...

• Take the concerned person aside and say something like, “You have a target that you haven’t met, and here’s what I think the reason is.” Point out that the person’s annoying habits are not only hampering his/ her job efficiency but also the productivity of others in the office. 
• Strongly state how professionally destructive and personally repulsive you find the activity. If you have first-hand examples of how their chronic bitching affects the others at work, take it up with them directly and tolerate no excuses.
• Job requirements need to be clearly defined for such people. Set clear deadlines and emphasise on the need to respect them.
• The longer you allow the behaviour to continue, the more you send the message that the problem is unimportant. If you delay, you’ll have an entire office gossiping about your lack of concern for an effective, harmonious workplace.

COLLEAGUE SPEAK
Do you find yourself saying things like, “I wish we had less whining and more productivity”? Here’s help on how you can deal with noisy, grumbling co-workers:

• Kill them with kindness. How often have you heard someone say, “One more word of complaint, you’ve had it!” We often find ourselves waiting to be pushed one more notch. But when the expected nudge becomes a kind word, it defuses people. It’s hard to be angry with people who are nice to you.
• Keep your distance. Be friendly and co-operative but don’t get too close. You never know what tales the person might carry of all that you have told her/ him.
• Acknowledge the problem. If things are going from bad to worse and affecting your concentration at work, be firm in your approach. No one will agree that gossiping or bitching is a good thing. Stress that your intolerance and anger is for the activity, not the person.

TIME FOR SOME SELF-INTROSPECTION
And for all those bitching and complaining their time away, some internal introspection will help a great deal in finding solutions to sort out problems.

• Deconstruct complaints. Behind every complaint is an idea or a belief that a person is committed to. Otherwise, why be upset? Once you stop thinking of yourself as a complainer, and start thinking of yourself as a person committed to something, that sets the stage for you to do something about your problem.
• To change culture, take responsibility. Figure out what others around you and what you yourself are doing to thwart the goal you’re committed to. Identify to what degree you have control of the situation. Recognise that in almost every circumstance, we have some hand in why our commitment is not being realised.

• Approach the boss. If you have a grievance, tell the boss what it is. Don’t go crying behind people’s back to other workers. That only adds fuel to the already smoldering fire. Eventually, it will get back to the boss and you will have damaged your standing in everyone’s eyes.
• Be tactful. And when you do approach a superior directly, don’t just blurt out a complaint. Use tact and diplomacy. Discuss the matter and keep an open mind if the superior is offering reasons to counter your complaint.
• Don’t jump to conclusions; always know the facts before you make a stand. You will gain the respect of both your boss and your co-workers.

In the long run however, it always pays to remember that gossiping and bitching in the workplace is like an open jar of honey. Everyone enjoys a small taste, a big gulp can make all of us sick, and getting the lid back on is, indeed, sticky business.

Courtesy: Savvy Magazine