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I was born in Jodhpur. My father Col Niranjan Singh was in the Indian Army. I have an older brother, Digvijay Singh, who’s a professional golfer. My brother and I did our schooling in army schools in places wherever my father was posted. But we finally settled in Meerut, and I finished my schooling there.
Mum was a housewife but later she started teaching. All the army officers’ wives ended up doing that – teaching in army schools. Mum was extremely creative, she’d teach the jawans’ wives embroidery, and it was done basically to help these women be independent, sell their products and earn a little bit. She was also a part of Army Wives Welfare Association. She would put up plays and skits for them, and since they were all women, they would end up playing the male parts too. I remember mum playing a man in a play once and wearing a moustache. Mum was multi-talented; she loved playing the guitar too, and as a kid, all of this would be very exciting for me; I used to be very happy being around everything that mum was involved in. So I have some fantastic memories of growing up in these Army clubs and cantonments…
A Cool Mum But Strict Dad…
While mum was pretty cool, my father was very strict, in fact, so horribly strict that as far as I remember, I had barely any conversation with him while growing up. Dad was very busy with his work, and since he was in the infantry, he’d be posted to far off places. A funny incident happened in my childhood which mum told us about later. Apparently, when I was very little, dad was posted in East Manipur for three years and I didn’t see him much during those years. After that, again he was posted to another place, which meant he was away from home for a very long time at a stretch. So once, when he came home on his annual leave, I actually ended up asking him, ‘Why don’t you get your kids along? I would like to play with them’. And dad just smiled and said, ‘Yes, next time, I’ll bring them along’. It was so funny and weird but really that was how it was; we actually saw so little of him as kids.
Mostly, it was just the three of us at home, and mum, essentially, was our best friend. Whenever dad would be home, we’d end up seeing only the strict side of him. We were terribly scared of even switching on the TV in front of him. If he walked into my room at 7 a.m and found me still lying on the bed, that was it, because for dad, half the day was over at 7 a.m. Slowly, of course, he changed and over the years he warmed up to us but even now I am definitely much closer to mum… And with dad, it’s still like, ‘Hello Papa, how are things?
And mummy kahan hai?’ After a point, I can’t have too long a conversation with him. My brother is closer to dad but for me, it was always my mum. Now, of course, I can’t imagine that dad actually was so strict…
An Average Student Who Flunked Maths…
I wasn’t a brilliant student. In fact, I would have loved to be a backbencher but my teachers would make me sit in the front for some strange reason. I hated Maths and would flunk it pretty often, but Biology was my favourite subject and I scored very well in that. I loved English and Sanskrit too and I actually scored a 98 in the 10th standard in Sanskrit. So whatever interested me, I did well in that. But overall, I’d end up getting 60–70% on an average but what I loved doing in school was learning kathak which I did for three years. I loved dancing and every year I would look forward to the annual function in school. Mum tells me how I’d come home from school, just shut the door, put on music and dance away to glory…
When I was a little older, I wanted to be a newsreader, and after that, I wanted to be an airhostess. So quite honestly, there was never any structure to what I did.
Teen Crushes – Lots Of Them!
Just as my interests kept changing, I had plenty of teen crushes; I’d have a new crush every week. I was a big fan of George Michael and there was this guy who looked like him and had the same stubble as him, but he was much older than us. So we were a group of little girls who used to follow him all over the Army club. When he got to know, we did go around for a while but it didn’t last long…
Then, Tom Cruise was hot at that time and a guy used to come to the swimming pool who looked just like him. In any Army cantonment, the pool and club are happening places. I remember we girls would be in the shallow side of the pool, and this guy would come on the diving board, and we would go, ‘Oh my God, this guy looks like Tom Cruise!’ All of us had this huge crush on him.
From Meerut To Delhi For College…
School life basically was a lot of fun, but soon it was time to get serious… After finishing school, I went to Lady Irwin College in Delhi and took up Home Science, as I thought it would be easy. But Home Science wasn’t easy; there was textile designing, child development, bio chemistry, and it was really tough. But because I liked Biology, I decided to major in food and nutrition.
But I enjoyed the extracurricular activities in college. SPIC MACAY (Society for Promotion of Indian Classical Music And Culture Amongst Youth) was very big in Delhi, and I’d enjoy organizing different events for it on our campus. I’d also be part of the fashion shows and festivals on campus. I started doing a bit of print modelling too.
Love & Marrying Top Golfer Jyoti Randhawa…
I knew Jyoti Randhawa from the time we were kids. We were actually family friends as our parents knew each other. My brother and he were good friends and they were both interested in playing golf. Since my parents were in Meerut and I had moved to Delhi for college and was a hostelite, Jyoti’s parents became my local guardians. But it was in Delhi, when I started college, that I began to see him a lot more, without my brother in tow… Since he was helping me out with my college, hostel etc, that was the period we actually started spending time together. We would go out for movies. And since I knew him from the time I was in the 8th standard, there was already a kind of comfort level with him. I just had to call him up and tell him I was getting ragged in hostel and I needed to get out, and he’d come and take me out. I could actually demand that from him. So that was the kind of easy-going relationship we shared. We didn’t even realize when we actually started going around because it was all so gradual. But we were just very good friends before we actually started seeing each other. And that friendship still remains the essence of our relationship. I was not really much into his golf at that time… Jyoti was playing amateur golf and then I remember he went for the Asian Games. But I think it was only after we got married that I got really involved in his game, and was really able to understand the pressures of the sport. Eventually, of course, marriage happened; and it was just another gradual move for both of us…
I got married when I was 22-23.After marriage, I travelled across the world with Jyoti on his golf tours and those were great times for us… He was very ambitious and I was learning all about his game. There are constant ups and downs in the life of a sportsperson, and it’s very important to emotionally be there for your husband at that time. I am happy I was able to be there for him, to boost his morale. It kind of helps a lot… And because I was also learning about the game, I would also end up giving him my ‘inputs’. When I’d be watching him play and if I felt he was making a mistake, I would tell him later that maybe he was not putting right. There were times when I even caddied for him!
So yes, our conversations centered around his golf, his games and life after marriage was just wonderful. It was great to be married to someone who was essentially also your good friend.
Stepping Into The Acting World…
The print modelling I was doing while in college continued even after marriage. I did ads for ICICI Bank, Allukas Jewellery etc. I then did a music video called Sunset Point with Sanjay Suri which was directed by Gulzaarsaab. Somebody from the production team of director Sudhir Mishra who had seen my music video called me for an audition for Sudhir’s film Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi. Lyricist Swanand Kirkire, who was the AD of the film, had come to Delhi to audition students from NSD for Hazaaron… But they were having a tough time finding the right girl for the character of Geeta Rao. So they called me, and I went but it turned out to be horrible. I was called again after two days and this time it was slightly better. After two weeks, Swanand came back and I did the longest audition ever. I wore a sari, a bun, and the audition went on for almost half a day. After this, I was asked to come down to Mumbai as Sudhir had to be convinced and wanted to audition me himself. So after some four-five auditions, I got the part, and it somehow seemed very exciting to be part of that project.
So after about two-three years after marriage, I stepped into the industry knowing nothing much about it. I never thought I’d become an actress. But at that point, all I knew was I had to play the role of Geeta, who was very modern in her thoughts and the choices she was making… It was liberating to have someone like Sudhir tell me, ‘This woman is my heroine’. It validated the choice I was making at that point in my life. My husband, of course, supported my decision.
Getting Fame Overnight…
I honestly never expected that Hazaaron… would get the kind of response it did. I knew it was not a commercial film. We were working on a very tight budget. It was not easy, but only Sudhir knew what he was doing. As for me, I don’t even remember how much I tried to act, because I was enjoying the whole process of being this person… So it was a fascinating journey for me. But when the film and I started getting rave reviews, I didn’t know what to make of it because I really didn’t think it was so fantastic.
My Family Loved My Film…
But my mum really loved it. And when comparisons with Smita Patil were being made, she was really impressed because Smita Patil was her favourite actress. My parents were very thrilled and very proud with the success of my first film. They had no problems with my acting career at all; I think they are far more modern than a lot of youngsters these days. Especially since Smita was somebody of their time, for them it was a huge compliment that people considered me to be like her.
So Did My Husband…
As for my husband, he liked the film too, but he said, ‘Arey, but this is how you are at home; this is how you react when you are angry’. I guess it was his way of complimenting me, saying how natural I was. But he is indeed very proud of me. And what I really like about him is that he can very easily step aside and be very happy for me, which is a very good thing, and I appreciate that very much about him.
Me, Smita Patil?...
As for what I felt about this whole comparison with Smita Patil, well, I have to be honest about this. I mean it’s too big a compliment, just too big for what I had done till then. It was only my first film and I didn’t think I could take it seriously. It’s like somebody telling Sonu Sood, ‘You are like Amitabh Bachchan’. I mean, how seriously could one possibly take that? There’s just too much of a difference between the amount of work she had done and me. It was too early for me to start thinking I was like her.
When I did Sorry Bhai (my comeback film), people said, ‘Hey, what Smita Patil… what the hell…’ So they just bring you right back too. So it’s nice to be compared but I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I wouldn’t want to take away the comparisons or the compliments that I look like her or act like her. Of course, it’s the nicest feeling when people warm up to you so much because you remind them of someone who’s not around anymore. It feels awesome!
Moments Of Doubt…
After Hazaaron…, I then did a film called Kal; we worked really hard on it but it didn’t do well. After that somehow I just didn’t know where I was going and wasn’t sure if I really wanted to be in the acting industry. Because as opposed to others, I guess I didn’t come here pursuing a career in acting and somewhere I didn’t want it that badly at that point in my life. And life is all about what you want at what stage… Besides, some things didn’t go too right with the people I was working with at that time. So I just sort of decided to chuck it all. I said I don’t need this. Some things got written about my husband at that time which was in bad taste (that probably he didn’t want me to continue with my acting), and it was all obviously wrong. But I didn’t want to make the adjustments as I was not desperately looking for a career in acting at that stage in my life.
Taking A Break From Films & Motherhood…
So I took a break from films for close to four years. During that time, I had my baby… And motherhood, I must say, was a fantastic feeling. When people ask me if motherhood changed me as a person, I’ll say it has been as good for me as it is for anybody else. It grounds you and makes you a lot more reassured about yourself because that’s what I felt after becoming a mother. It has its good days and bad days which is very normal, but more than anything else, it’s very reassuring. It strengthens you as a woman and it’s a very liberating kind of feeling, where you feel you don’t need anything else but the child and that child is yours – that kind of a feeling is great. And I am happy it happened to me at the right time. I feel very blessed with my son Zorawar; and I must say that he’s fabulous.
Missing The Highs Of Acting…
So the first two years after I took my break were great. I didn’t miss films, but suddenly I started missing something that gave me the same kind of high, the same kind of satisfaction, I was getting earlier. I tried doing a couple of things, but it hit me that nothing felt as good as that. It’s true that you have to want it really badly for you to start missing it; that was what had started to happen with me… So one fine day, I almost picked up the phone to start calling up people. I wasn’t sure if anyone remembered me and wondered what they would say when I called them. I had changed my phone number as well so I was completely out of touch with everyone. But thankfully around the same time Onir got in touch. He got my number through a friend and called me for his Sorry Bhai and I just jumped at the offer.
Making A Comeback
Sorry Bhai was my comeback film… Working with Shabana Azmi, Boman Irani and Sanjay Suri, with whom I had worked earlier, was a great experience. And working with Onir, of course, was one of my best experiences; he’s such a wonderful guy. After this, though I did get a lot of offers, I wanted to wait to get the right film. The roles I was getting were all like Hazaaron… and Sorry Bhai – the slightly coiled up, the other woman kind of roles. It somehow didn’t feel good seeing yourself up there doing something you didn’t believe in. I felt stupid doing the same thing, so said let’s wait for something worthwhile.
Daring To Do Different Roles…
I Then Did Sudhir’s Yeh Saali Zindagi Again After A Gap Of Two Years… I Knew Sudhir Was Working On Something And I knew it would take time, so I decided to wait rather than take on something just for the heck of it. Sudhir had given me my first break and I could trust him to help me bring out my best, and I wanted to do my second comeback with him. Yeh Saali Zindagi, which released last year, was a different role and a different experience… The thing with Sudhir is he will not talk you through every scene. He’ll talk you through what the character is all about, where she is psychologically and emotionally, and you have to take it from there. He helps you internalize the character and become that person, so that acting becomes effortless. There were a few emotions we were very careful of – like when the girl is experiencing fear, I had to make sure that I didn’t look monotonous. After this, I did Desi Boys with Akshay Kumar, which was a commercial film, where I played the role of a girl who’s very impulsive and random. I did this film because I wanted to do something fun and exciting too and didn’t want to slot myself in any specific category. Incidentally, the tiffs that were reported between Deepika Padukone and me over a dress in the film are not true.
Scripts That Stretch My Acting…
Right now, I am choosing scripts that challenge my abilities as an actress… How do I go about doing that? There is no hard and fast rule and we can make mistakes choosing the right one. But I think we actors are quite insecure because we don’t want to look bad in front of the audience; we always want to get it right. Where I am concerned, I want to take up a part I feel I can do well. It can’t be too far removed from who I am as a person…
Yes, I greedily look for my role but my personal favourite would be a woman with some kind of a kink, which makes her more interesting. When I say kink, I mean not just a happy, giggly girl but maybe a happy, giggly girl who’s probably also very jealous, or who’s also very ambitious. It’s just nicer to have some kind of an edge to work on. More than anything else, it’s the director that matters. You can have a great part, but a bad director can take it nowhere. And you can have a simple part which a great director can take someplace else. As of now, I am doing Goldie Behl’s I, Me Aur Main with John Abraham and another Sudhir film Inkaar with Arjun Rampal, which is based on sexual harassment at the workplace. And yes, you can also see me in a completely different avatar in a dance number choreographed by Farah Khan in Joker. It was a lovely experience working with Farah and I wish I had more time to rehearse. But it’s a dance that’s sensuous, and not overtly sexual, and I hope people like it. I was also delighted to anchor the IIFA awards last month, which was a first for me. Yes, I am stretching myself…
Rumours About My Linkups (With Sudhir Mishra, Kay Kay Menon, John Abraham)…
Having been in the industry for some time now, I have realized that rumours and linkups are part of our careers. I also realized that every day somebody or the other gets written about… How do I handle it? Well, I just ignore it. If you ignore it, it doesn’t exist. I wouldn’t say things like, ‘Oh, I am so sad and hurt and all that’ because all of this is just so ridiculous.
As for being called Sudhir’s blue-eyed girl, well I am so glad I am… The kind of women characters he writes for his films, I would love to do all of them! It helps when you understand and get along with somebody really well. If people want to attach a label because it makes a better story, then I don’t know what to say about that. But that certainly doesn’t mean I’ll stop working with him. I never will… We share a great working relationship – one where there is trust and friendship and I value that a lot. I don’t think if something gets written or if people are having a laugh over it, it will make any difference to us.
And as far as my family is concerned, my husband is very secure and set, and he knows how much of rubbish all this is. Well, you can’t really be prepared for all of this, but I think as long as there’s trust, understanding and communication, you can sort out a lot of things. So realistically, you can’t be prepared for all the baggage that comes with being an actress, but trust is very important in any relationship.
Long Distance Marriage – Doing The Juggling Act
Talking of family and relationships, I am often asked how I do the juggling act between Delhi which is home and Mumbai where most of my work happens… Well, I believe what I am doing is pretty much what any working mother does, so like any other working mother, there are good days and bad days; and sometimes you manage well, sometimes you don’t. I have my family to support me; my mother’s pretty much around for my son, which has been good so far. My husband is very supportive too, so I am blessed that my son has all of us around him.
In fact, I am in Delhi much more than I am in Mumbai (I am looking for a place here but haven’t found one yet); so contrary to what people think, I am not just a weekend mother. I choose my work in a way that I can handle very well. Besides, my son, who’s five now, also travels with me when I’m shooting here.
Stay Honest ‘N’ Be Focused
I Never Hankered For A Career In Acting But I Am Glad I found my calling here… I am also glad I have a husband who supports my ambitions. He doesn’t really understand the creative aspects of films, but as an audience, he does give me his feedback and judgment…
And finally, what has taken me this far is staying true to my core beliefs. I feel you need to do a reality check every now and then and prioritize your time and your life accordingly. You have to know where you stand and you have to take that call pretty often. It’s a crazy balancing act, but at the end of the day, you have to just stay honest and work hard. It should be about the work you do. It’s basically about how good you are up there on screen and it’s important to be loyal to that idea… Ultimately, that gets you where you want to be.
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